Madonna / Supernatural

If I were to nominate the planet's most efficient pop star, i.e.) the one who absolutely does not mess about, it's obviously Madonna. I say this because in a career spanning some 44 years and more than 90 singles she's issued just 10 actual b-sides, by which I mean songs that aren't remixes, reworkings, album tracks or Spanish language versions. To put it another way, more than 90% of the time she's turned off the studio lights and gone out for dinner or a yoga class while other pop stars stay late into the night adding value.

The b-side does of course have a long tradition of allowing an artist to let their hair down, break free from the shackles of commerciality in favour of something perhaps more experimental, personal, or, in many cases, just not quite as good. In Madonna's world, I suspect there is little time for not quite as good, with the result that the ones she has issued tend to be off-cuts from album sessions rather than songs that were conceived specifically as b-sides. Most efficient.

Madonna relaxing is a rare thing indeed. In many ways she is the Monica Geller of pop: rules help control the fun. But when she does say 'f**k it' and decides to have a laugh, it is a brilliant thing. By way of evidence I offer up Supernatural, the b-side to 1989's single Cherish.

I love seeing Madonna have fun, which is probably why her performance of Holiday on the Blond Ambition tour makes me smile more than anything else - she's just out there beaming and having a laugh, making the meticulously rehearsed choreography look like something she's just thought up on the spot. It's pure joy. It's this carefree spirit (DO YOU SEE) we encounter in Supernatural, with its Scooby Doo style spooky noises and Poltergeist-y vocal effects. But it's deep down in the adlibs where you get the real sense of Madonna just dicking about. Let me give you two examples.

1. Now, I feel reasonably confident when I say that no-one else in the history of pop has chosen to impersonate Taffy Dare from out of Captain Caveman, though do feel free to contradict me if you know of someone else who has. That is exactly what Madonna does on Supernatural when she says "that super-duper-naturally big thing - outrageously LARGE". It took me years to figure out what it was reminding me of, and then one day I happened across a clip of Captain Caveman and everything fell into place. Amazing
2. The chorus goes "Gonna take my chance on a different kind of romance / A super-nat-ural thing", but right at the end she swaps out "chance" and squeezes in "pants off". It's soooooo childish but soooooo funny, though do remember I am very easily amused and would laugh at a swinging gate, according to my mother

At the very least Supernatural should have become a Hallowe'en staple, thereby reducing the chances of them doing the Monster Mash on Strictly each season, if only by a small amount. So I invite you to add it to your seasonal playlist and revel, at least once a year, in the story of a well-endowed ghost who wears nice cologne. You won't regret it.

Released: 1989, as the B-side of Cherish

Pairs well with: Misty by Kate Bush. Similar concept, differently executed.